Stan Lee's Guide to Creative Insults

Or, who says comics aren't educational?  Stan seemed to have an inexhaustible thesaurus of put-downs, aspersions and invectives:

I can tell you for a fact that was the first time I ever heard the word "dolt", and it was certainly a useful addition to a teenager's vocabulary.

Clod was not unknown to me, but prefaced with "worthless, insufferable" really makes it work as a taunt.

Okay, so maybe he overused "insufferable".  But did you know that an escutcheon is the shield on which a coat of arms is displayed?  It can also be the distribution of pubic hair (!) although I doubt that's what Stan meant in this case.

Doom, of course, was the Doctor of Disdain, the Sultan of Scorn, the Ottoman of Opprobrium.  But many other villains mastered the alliteration of aspersion as well:

However, that's not to say that the Marvel heroes were incapable of creative contumely:

I'm looking around for an example of my personal favorite insult; "costumed cretin" but not finding it quickly.  Anybody?  Anybody?  Bueller?

Update: Another classic, courtesy of Flodo:

Update II: Costumed cretin as mentioned by an anonymous commenter, from Avengers Annual #1:

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Superheroes #4

As the 1960s wore on, the superhero craze showed no signs of abating. DC, the only comic publishing company that had never ceased publishing superhero comics, nearly doubled their output of the men in capes and cowls from about 25% of their books in the 1950s to about 45% in the 1960s. Marvel, which had no superhero titles from about 1955-1961, suddenly was swarming with amazingly-powered characters.

And then came Batmania, and it seemed like nothing sold except superhero titles. So Dell, which had only made a few half-hearted attempts at the genre, leapt in with this rather lame effort. Even the comic's title seems generic: Superheroes. "A Fantastic Transformation into Reality?" And the Fab 4 were the Beatles.

We quickly learn that four "teeners" are able to control a quartet of super-powered androids. One guy can receive radio waves; a very useful ability. Of course, you could just bring along a portable radio instead. Another guy has built-in radar, which proves handy considering that the story is about a bomber plane from SAC (Strategic Air Command) being hijacked by hypnotic command. Polymer Polly can fly and create strands of polymer from her body, while Crispy can shoot cold rays from his fingers.

The androids use their combined skills to find the bomber and render harmless the atomic bomb it had dropped:

In part II (pay no attention to that "The End" caption above), we learn that some hip couple were behind the hypnotism that took control of the SAC bomber. Since their plot has been ruined, they decide to get even with the Fab 4. And they quote a lot of 1960s music lines in the process:


This part also explains the "fantastic transformation into reality" bit. You see, the kids send their minds into the androids. The androids come to the old abandoned opera house where the kids hang out. The hip couple send a bomb there. And the bomb implodes:

As a result, the kids now have the powers that they formerly had to use the androids in order to possess. It's ginch-tastic!

A week later, the teeners have had some time to test and expand their powers. The radio-wave guy (called El by his buddies) has figured out where the hypnotic wave came from. And so the laser/radar guy:

When they get to the theatre, the Mod (our villain) and his gal are giving a concert:

Yeah, I could criticize that song for not rhyming, but it's not like the other publishers of the time did teen exploitation any better--the Kryptonian Krawl, anyone? Anyway, the kids (including the heroes) are all hypnotized to attack the Peace Ministers' Conference. Fortunately, the hypno-wave doesn't work if one is shoved (which seldom happens at a riot):

The Fab 4 quell the mob, and eventually catch the Mod and his girlfriend.

Comments: Painful. About the only thing positive in this effort is the artwork (credited in the book to Sal Trapani, but actually penciled by Bill Fraccio and inked by Trapani per Martin O'Hearn in the comments). The script glosses over all sorts of plot-holes, then maddeningly screeches to a halt so the kids don't walk out of Polly's house dressed in their uniforms. Never mind that earlier it's Tom's house. The story tries too hard by half to be relevant to kids of the time--why Tom even produces a comics fanzine--but fails miserably. It is plain to see why this was the last outing for the Fab 4.

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Number 181


The Big Little Hero


Doll Man was a superhero who hung around for a long time, considering how fast some superheroes disappeared after the end of World War II. But then, Doll Man Quarterly, and before that, Feature Comics, where Doll Man appeared, were published by Quality Comics, which had an all-star lineup, good artwork and great distribution. When they went out of business in the 1950s most of their heroes were sold to DC Comics, who went on to great, long-running success with their version of Quality's Blackhawk. Later on they re-introduced characters like Doll Man and even Plastic Man.



This particular story, "The Tiny Terrors," is from Doll Man #6, dated Summer, 1943.

It's drawn by Al Bryant, who does a competent job. Not spectacular like Doll Man creator Lou Fine, but good enough in its own right.

The story itself is kind of a horror story, if you have insect fear. A mad scientist (and there are no other kinds of scientists in comic books), Dr. Dlee, discovers how to make insects big. His plot is to kill all the other humans on the planet. The war, going at the time this story was written, drawn and published, isn't mentioned in the story, but its effects are felt "off-camera." I see Dr. Dlee as having snapped under a form of war psychosis. The mad doc joins a long list of would-be conquerors and destroyers. And, of course it's up to Doll Man to stop him! The side effect to making the insects big is to make them intelligent, and murderous.

This story has one of those illogical comic book run-that-one-by-me-again-wouldja? moments on page 6, where an impossible transition is made. I'll let you spot it for yourself, but when I read it I had to go back and see if I'd missed something in the timeline established by this story. Nope, I didn't.

Doll Man has what I think is the worst name in the history of superhero comics. What boy of the era would be caught dead reading something with the word "doll" in the title? Apparently a lot of them, but maybe they kept their copies hidden so their buddies wouldn't razz them. Doll Man also had a costume that was right out of the Will Eisner/ Lou Fine costume shop. The bare legs and arms, along with the elf-shoes, would probably be OK during the summer, but in winter weather he'd be one cold, shivery little fella. I look at these costumes that Fine designed as somewhat fetishistic. It showed on a cover like Doll Man Quarterly #5, which featured Doll Man in male bondage.

All of that aside, "The Tiny Terrors" story is fast-moving and entertaining. You know, what it's supposed to be.

My copy of Doll Man #6 I got for free from a comics shop owner. It had been seriously mouse-chewed in the upper right corner. Only the last three stories are salvageable, but of course I took it from him, mouse-chewed contents and all. The cover shown above is one I took off the Internet. As longtime Pappy's readers know by now, Pappy's comics collection includes a lot of coverless comics, tear sheets of stories, damaged and unsellable comic books. That's OK, because you are a beneficiary, as I make digital copies to preserve them.

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Number 87


The World's Worst Villain: The Claw


Even for an industry as short on subtlety as comics during the World War II era, The Claw feature in Daredevil, published by Lev Gleason under the Comic House imprint, was way over the top. And when I say way over, I mean it. The Claw could grow to fantastic heights, looking to be about 25' tall. A fairly good overview of The Claw in Daredevil is told here.

The Claw was created by Plastic Man creator, Jack Cole, but worked on by several artists during the time of its run. He also fought various heroes: Daredevil, Silver Streak and The Ghost. This particular episode, from Daredevil #11, June 1942, features The Ghost.

The Ghost shows up in a Colorado town because he has a hunch The Claw is somewhere close. I guess building a giant war machine as big as a building could be done without anyone knowing it, couldn't it? You'd think The Ghost might have seen it while he was flying around the area.  The Ghost, in his secret identity as Brad Hendricks, wearing a bright green suit and yellow fedora with bright red hat band, meets a saucy blonde counter gal in the local diner who gives him what-for because he's not in the Army. He says, "…well, someone has to stay home and take care of the girls…"

This was not only the character talking, but most likely the philosophy of Bob Wood, who gets the byline on the story. He was co-editor, with Charles Biro, of many Lev Gleason titles. Together they created Crime Does Not Pay, one of the most successful comics of all time. Reports by artists who knew them describe a couple of guys enjoying themselves on the town in wartime New York City. Biro was reported to be a ladies man who bragged about his conquests. Wood was described as being a mean drunk who beat women. His comeuppance came in 1958 when in an alcoholic rage he killed his girlfriend and went to prison. Wood’s artwork isn’t bad, but fun in that early forties style.

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Number 64

COVERING UP: Classic covers of Golden Age Comics: Remember Pearl Harbor

Today is the 65th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the event which propelled Americans into WWII. The nature of the attack was such that it caused an instant reaction in the public. Outrage.

All media, and all popular media, immediately responded. Comic books were no exception. Here are some examples of comics published right on the heels of Pearl Harbor. The first, Remember Pearl Harbor, drawn by Jack Binder for Street and Smith Publications, is a patriotic cover: Uncle Sam rolls up his shirt sleeves and strides across the Pacific to kick some butt!

Comics, by virtue of their cartoony origins, used their ability to caricature to present the enemy as inhuman, vampire-toothed, claw-fingered. It wasn't enough to just use the common stereotype of the day, buck teeth and thick glasses, to represent the Japanese. To reflect American anger, they had to be demonized.

The next two, Captain America #14, May 1942, drawn by Al Avison, and Young Allies #3, Spring 1942, drawn by Al Gabrielle, fall into the demon enemy category. On the Young Allies cover Gabrielle draws both types of caricatures: the demon, drooling and sharp-toothed, and the buck-toothed, thick glasses stereotype. Timely Comics used this sort of cover with great success and other publishers soon followed suit.As a bonus, here's the original art to a cover by Alex Schomburg. Of all of the artists who did comic book covers during the war years, Schomburg really stands out for his excellent drawing ability and his ability to draw fantastic scenarios, with American heroes beating up on Axis gangsters in fantasy settings. This particular cover shows Schomburg's signature type of situation. It's also funny that Schomburg used to label in English the science fiction-styled weapons the enemy is shown using. Other artists copied his formula, but there was only one Schomburg.

Click on pictures for full size images.

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Number 63


The Face


We'll soon be observing the 65th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the event that drew America into World War II. While mobilization was taking effect, the comics jumped right in, sending their characters into the fray, usually whipping on the enemy with savage ferocity, and of course, coming out the winners.

In real life it wasn't so easy, but the job was eventually done.

The Face was one of those characters. Tony Trent, war correspondent, put on a Halloween mask, his entire costume. Later on in The Face's run in Big Shot Comics, as the strip was re-titled simply "Tony Trent." 

The art was by Mart Bailey, who had a good illustrative style with solid and clean inking. His art style wasn't spectacular, but Bailey was a pro who started his career at DC Comics for Big Shot Comics editor, Vin Sullivan. In a lot of ways Bailey's style reminds me of fellow Big Shot artist, Ogden Whitney, who drew Skyman.

This story, from Big Shot Comics #37, August 1943, shows The Face participating in a Marine invasion of an island, which is in fact what was happening in real life at the same time. The story takes off into a flight of fancy. In real life islands like Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal were taken only after fierce fighting and great loss of lives. The Face and his friends, the bearded "Mattress" McCarthy, spouting his annoying rhymes, and "Babbling" Brooks, showing timidity in the face of the enemy (something you didn't usually see in comics), took care of the situation in short order and the island was taken. Hooray for our side. To his credit, Bailey didn't draw the Japanese as ugly caricatures, which was common in those days. It wouldn't have fit into his style of art at all.

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